Pity Post....

I have lost 36 pounds in the last 3 and a half months. I have worked my ass off, with exercising and trying to eat right and stick to a diet plan. This is the first time in the past almost 4 years that I've been motivated to take control of my health and body.

That is a huge step for me! It's been very hard, I don't have a lot of willpower, so I'm especially proud of myself for doing so well. Everyone that I've come across is amazed and the compliments pour in. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, just making it clear just how big an endeavor this has been for me. And it's a work in progress, since I have more to lose.

Why the self pity, you ask?

Because my husband hasn't said one word to me since I've lost the weight. Not one word. Nada. Oh wait, he did say yesterday that I should change my pants because they were way to baggy on me........ Ya think?

I know that he loves me, that's not an issue.

But, why is it so hard for him to give me those words of encouragement I really need at this time? You know, something simple like, "All your hard work is paying off, I'm proud of you.." Pretty simple and it would make me feel really good.

Although, I'd settle for "Hey sexy!" LOL...

He is supporting me, he's paying for this program I'm on, and I know he's happy I'm shrinking, and deep inside, I know he's proud of me. But, I guess it would be nice to hear the actual words.

Eh, he is the way he is, been that way since I first met him and will always be that way. He really is a great guy except for that one area. He's just not demonstrative and never will be. So, I shouldn't let it bother me as it's always been this way.

I'm really craving some Mac and Cheese. Maybe that's my problem, I just need a fix. I think this is going to be a cheat day.

2:18 PM - 6/3/2008 - Postacomment

Well I say WOO HOO and CONGRATS !

Great job, sexy ! ... er Laurie !

I hate to tell you this, but I ate Kraft mac & cheese on Sunday all by itself...

The whole box... like I always do... right out of the pan...

D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S !!!

Cam - 3:29 PM - 6/3/2008

Just do it......eat the Mac n' Cheese...you deserve it!! You have worked hard and you look great! Paul is Paul, and that's just the way it is. Like you said he's a great guy, but not demonstrative verbally or physically, but I'm sure even though he isn't saying it, he is thinking it....:) If I wasn't working tonight, I would say let's go out and eat something really good...:D

lisalisabobisa - 3:48 PM - 6/3/2008

well done!! My ex husband no 2 never complimented me on anything either - I had to rely on my own self esteem! You've done incredibly well though and even if he doesn't you should give yourself a big pat on the back

*loud applause*

Chandramoon - 4:31 PM - 6/3/2008

I've been watching your little ticker and am amazed at the progress you've made. One little trip into mac-and-cheese land won't hurt as long as you promise not to overstay your welcome... :)

Have you ever spoken to your husband about that one little thing? Maybe he doesn't know how you feel and may think that, since you don't bring it up, you don't have a problem with it. Communicate.

texican - 4:45 PM - 6/3/2008

Woohoo! Good job. That's awesome. Yeaah, I'm hoping being more active this summer will make me more fit. I agree with Texican, though, mehbe he just needs to hear that you need to hear that. :)

lunarfruity - 4:54 PM - 6/3/2008

Cam---HA! That's what got me into trouble in the first place, eating a whole pan of that stuff, LOL.

Kraft Mac and Cheese is soooooo goooood!

Thanks Cam, you're a sweetheart...:)

LauriesAsylum - 5:22 PM - 6/3/2008

Lisa---Thanks...:)
Yep, that's the way he is, and normally, I don't want someone who fawns all over me, or wants to have deep serious conversations all the time. I was in a feel sorry for me mood today.

I did go up and buy some of their Mac and Cheese from the deli at Von's and ate the whole (small) container. That must have been what I needed, I'm feeling pretty good right now, hahaha.

LauriesAsylum - 5:28 PM - 6/3/2008

Chandra---Thank you!
Normally, it doesn't bother me, he's always been that way. But, sometimes I wish he would speak up. He does surprise me every now and then though, LOL and it shocks the heck out of me. Then he becomes all upset because I'm making a big deal out of what he said to me. He's just not a mushy guy.

LauriesAsylum - 5:32 PM - 6/3/2008

Rene---I went up and got some Von's deli Mac and Cheese, a small container and ate it all. I feel much better, LOL.

We have spoken about it, but he feels I should know how he feels without him having to say it or demonstrate it. I knew he was like that, his whole family is, before I married him. Normally, it's not an issue. But, sometimes I have a day like this and I tend to focus on that. It doesn't help to do that, nothing changes, but I guess there's always that little spark of hope, LOL.

Thanks Rene, you're a sweetheart like Cam...:)

LauriesAsylum - 5:39 PM - 6/3/2008

lunarfruity---I'm sure working with those horses will be excellent exercise!

LauriesAsylum - 5:43 PM - 6/3/2008

I am still waiting for you to tell me how you did this. What program and how do you do the food.
I am a three time WW drop-out. I eat organically, almost all vegetarian and small meals.

It is very frustrating. Once I hit the big M three years ago I am struggling with 30 lbs myself.
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

indigomoonarts - 8:43 PM - 6/3/2008

WOW you've lost that much in that short of time, your working mighty hard there girl, you deserve that MnC!

As for your Hubby, mine is the same way. Although he will not give me what I want unless I ask him. Past month or so, he's been gaming a bit to hard, and "checking out" as in off in la la land, hardly listened to me or the kids, as he usually is in his headphones, after awhile, it pissed me off. So I told him so. You know what he did the next time he got on the computer? He listened to me. he took off his headphones, and listened as I talked, same with the kids too.

So try talking to hubby about it, if things don't change, don't let it change your pride in how much you've lost so far. I would lose even more, and one day when your hubby is not even looking, he's going to have one hot mama on his arm. :D

Chica - 9:16 PM - 6/3/2008

IMA: Have you ever had your blood checked for hypothyroidism? That's when the thyroid doesn't produce enough of the hormone that regulates metabolism, causing it to not burn calories like it should. I went undiagnosed for years and have to take a daily dose of synthetic hormone to regulate my metabolism.

If you're eating healthily and watching fat, sugar, and overall caloric intake (as well as maintaining some level of physical activity), and you're still not losing...there may be something wrong with your metabolism.

texican - 9:21 PM - 6/3/2008

You look as good as a pan of Mac and cheese. :-)

I thought you were losing weight for yourself and not for your husband. So his condolencens eueueueh appreciation you shouldn't need. I agree that getting compliments is always a bonus but getting those doesn't mean you will actually succeed, all depends on yourself.

logis - 9:38 PM - 6/3/2008

Congratulations on the weight loss, Sexy Fox. Some men just aren't wired to know that they're supposed to give compliments. Unless you specifically ask them for their opinion, they won't give it. I have a plastic bat you can bonk him over the head with....

slayerbarbie - 9:43 PM - 6/3/2008

Good job on the weight loss. I am a bit jealous. I lost 20 lbs. a year ago than got side lined and never got back on the plan. I still work out but I need to eat right.
I have the same problem with my hubby. He never compliments me with anything. He is a great guy too but it just isn't his thing to extend a 'you look good' or sexy or anything. So I can relate.

Nikkie - 10:09 PM - 6/3/2008

Congrats on the weight loss!

It would make me feel bad too if my husband didn't say anything after all the hard work. I hope yours starts letting you know how good you look to him....before all the other guys start doing it!

littleMissConfused - 5:32 AM - 6/4/2008

WOW Laurie-doo!! Supreme congratulations to you..that's quite the feat! I too lack in will-power when it comes to food. I could stand to lose about 20, maybe 30 pounds; what program is this that you're on? Honestly dear...super congrats to you!!

Kraft Mac & Cheese? Oh lady...I lived off of that wonderful invention for years as a bachelor. I have ways of making that that would make some of the worlds best chefs cower in defeat! Go on...splurge for once, you deserve it! I didn't have mac and cheese growing up because in the countries I lived in they didn't have it. When we finally moved to America my mom introduced it to us and it's been a love affair ever since...and still is!

Can't comment on the husband thing...I was brought up differently I guess. It's important to offer support to a loved one for doing something that's otherwise a hard thing to do. I believe that your weight-loss should be acknowledged, and heartily at that. But I guess as you pointed out, that's just that way he is and you already knew that.

But HEY!! You have us and we're all over it ya hot chic ya!

Again....super congrats sexy!!!

Rubicon - 6:17 AM - 6/4/2008

Congratulations Laurie! Could you tell me how you did it? I tried and tried to lose weight, but in vain. Write us next time a post with the details of losing weght. About husbands I can say this: they hardly ever compliment, and my husband didn't even notice anything different about me until I told him. He was always satisfied the way I looked. So don't expect too much.

readerwil - 6:33 AM - 6/4/2008

Men... and wow you're doing great ! Now that I think about it, I got more compliments from everybody else than i did my husband too. ;(
I got my angel pin & card today !! I added the pin to my favorite sweater. Thank you so much !! U make me smile ;) love u♥

windy - 1:53 PM - 6/4/2008

Congratulations, good job. hard work, I know, that's why I'm still so fat, have no will power and really don't care any more.

But hey, you've found a plan that works for you, that's terrific. Keep up the good work. And the mac and cheese? Just have about two bites and freeze the rest for another time.

Patty - 2:09 PM - 6/4/2008

Men can be such dolts - and they don't try to be.

I scolded my hub for sounding like it's a major imposition to answser the phone when I call him. He had no idea he sounded so rude.

I'm proud of you!!!

DeeJay - 8:27 PM - 6/4/2008

Here's an old Hank Williams song that seems appropriate:

Hey, good lookin'!
What you got cookin'?
How about cookin' some Kraft Mac and Cheese?

OK, I "altered" the lyrics a little. But congratulations on the weight loss. I think he's proud of you--he's just a little too undemonstrative to show it. It would be "unmanly."

I know. It's screwy thinking, but ... We're all proud of you. Way to go, Laurie!

drdog - 6:56 PM - 6/6/2008

Jana---I sent you a pm...:)

LauriesAsylum - 11:45 AM - 6/7/2008

Kelly---It's good to see you!

I know, he is the way he is, but he does surprise me every so often...:)

LauriesAsylum - 11:46 AM - 6/7/2008

Rene---I don't think she came back and read, but that was really good info, thanks!

LauriesAsylum - 11:47 AM - 6/7/2008

Logis---ahh, wise words from a wise man. You're right, I am doing this for myself! You're equating me to Mac and cheese? I'm honored, lol.

LauriesAsylum - 11:49 AM - 6/7/2008

Demetrius---Haha, I have my own bat, he's pretty familiar with it...:)

Thanks to another sexy fox!

LauriesAsylum - 11:50 AM - 6/7/2008

Nikkie---I'm starting to think it's just a male thing??

Men and women are just different I think, we have different needs.

LauriesAsylum - 11:52 AM - 6/7/2008

LMC---I just think he is uncomfortable with expressing his feelings. He'll go out of his way to avoid a serious conversation that has a remote chance of turning emotional...:)

LauriesAsylum - 11:54 AM - 6/7/2008

Michael---I think most of us, when we were single, lived on kraft mac and cheese, LOL. It was cheap, filling and so good!

Yep, he is the way he is and after almost 30 years, I don't see any big changes happening, haha.

Thanks Michael-bee!

LauriesAsylum - 11:58 AM - 6/7/2008

Wil---To tell you the truth, I do know he's satisfied with me, but sometimes I get emotional and want more. But, I guess we all do sometimes...:) Oh well!

LauriesAsylum - 12:03 PM - 6/7/2008

Windy---I'm glad you like it, I thought of you as soon as I saw it!♥

I think what it is, after awhile they don't feel like they need to be always saying something, we should JUST KNOW.

Haha, I've got news for them!

LauriesAsylum - 12:05 PM - 6/7/2008

Patty---I could never just eat two bites, haha. I bought a small container and ate the whole thing. But, I ate very light for dinner and the next day, so I feel pretty good about it...:)

LauriesAsylum - 12:06 PM - 6/7/2008

Thanks Deejay! So, does he answer the phone differently now?

LauriesAsylum - 12:07 PM - 6/7/2008

Peter---Thanks...:)

haha, I love your lyrics!

Yes, he is undemonstrative, his whole family is, so being raised in that environment, he can't help but turn out the way he did...:)

LauriesAsylum - 12:10 PM - 6/7/2008

Awesome Job!! I bet you look amazing! :)

CertainInsanity - 10:42 PM - 6/12/2008

Meg---well, I'll never look amazing, but I sure look better than I did, LOL.

Thanks!

LauriesAsylum - 11:31 AM - 6/17/2008